My Battle Cry

Hello All, Grace and Peace be to you from our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.

I trust GOD with all my heart, and yet I find myself in a huge spiritual battle. I really need prayer. I would like to think that I am stronger than this, but I am a mess! Let me explain..

I have had eleven miscarriages in my life. Emotionally, physically, and mentally painful. This has been the outcome of every pregnancy, not to mention all the negatives on the pregnancy test. I am almost forty-two, and after a much needed surgery and the doctors go ahead, my sweet husband and I are trying again to have a baby.

Since last spring we have been trying with no success. We are in the middle of another two week wait, and it is driving me crazy. I have faith in GOD for every other thing in my life, but this is making me so anxious! You see, I only know the pain involved with trying to have a baby on my own. I know nothing else, it is hard for me to accept that this could be the ONE! I have been praying and praying, but my thoughts and feelings get me carried away and the next thing I know, I am a stressed out, crying mess.

In Hebrews 11:6 it says, But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

I do not want to displease my wonderful, FATHER in HEAVEN. I love HIM too much! I only know hurt and pain in this area of my life. I am trying to turn it into faith, but I am struggling soo bad. I need your prayers. Please! I am a mess! I love GOD, I believe HE has performed many miracles, why is it so hard for me to have faith in this?

In Hebrews 11:1, it says, Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I know I need to believe and give thanks as if I have the baby already! Mark 11:22-26 says, 22And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

23For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

24Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

25And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

The enemy keeps reminding of all my past failures, and how GOD did not help then, so why should I believe it now? It is a lie, I know this, GOD did intervene, I did get the surgery needed, but those voices...

I am praying that the many voices of the enemy will no longer be heard, but only the VOICE OF TRUTH.

Casting Crowns song "Voice of Truth"

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I know that I am struggling with faith, and if you are too, read with me the faith verses in the BIBLE. My prayer is that I will stop listening to the wrong voices, and listen and BELIEVE the voice of TRUTH!

Thank you LORD! I love you soooo much! Forgive my lack of faith. Have mercy on me and help me to win this battle! I know with YOU I can! Thank YOU for the healing of my womb, and thank YOU for our new baby! AMEN!


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