My Christian Diary

Hello All! Sorry I have not been on in a few days. I was not feeling well, but I am doing much better. PRAISE GOD!
Today I want to tell you about a lesson that GOD taught me and I hope it will help someone else out there. Well, where do I start with this? HUM??? I guess I will start at the beginning ... It was 1999 and Randy's brother was in a horrible car accident that almost took his life. He was in the hospital for sometime recovering. PRAISE GOD he survived! He had a family which included a wife, an 11 year old and a new 4 month old baby. The house they were living in was pretty old and falling apart and they really needed another, especially with the baby.
Randy and I got a loan for them to get a house with the understanding that in time they would take over the note. Randy's brother recovered and went back to work and was doing real well making payments on the property.
A significant change took place over the course of a few years. In 2001, Randy went through a lay off at Boeing after the terrorist attack happened. He began taking some classes while he was on unemployment. Before Randy lost his job, we had been putting out our portfolio to many adoption agency's. We were trying to fill our home with children, but repeated miscarriages was preventing us from doing so, so we were trying to adopt. During Randy's unemployment season, we had an interview with a young lady who needed parents for her soon-to-be born child. We were elated to find out that she wanted us to be "said" parents. After we brought Brandon home from the hospital in July of 2002, I just wanted to stay home and be with him, but at that time I had to continue to work while Randy was still going to school and unemployed. After about 4 months I became pregnant again, and again miscarried. It reinforced the feeling in me that I needed to be home with Brandon. So, Randy had to make a serious decision...to stop school and get a job, but the economy was not good. Where would he get another job that would keep us in our home and keep us living the way we had been accustomed to? He could not locally, but he could enlist in the military and he could work and I could stay home and raise Brandon. It was a hard decision for us to make, but we chose to take the leap. It was scary, but worth it!
Randy left for basic training and AIT in 2003 and we were in Belgium in January of 2004. I told you major changes in our lives! It was hard going through it, but I can attest to you today that we are stronger people for all we have gone through. It is hard enough to be new parents, but to be new parents, change jobs, move from our home, leave our family and friends and go to another country all within 18 months was a bit much to handle, but again, we are stronger people because of it.
OK , now that you have the back story I need to get to the lesson GOD taught me. ( HE taught me many things on my journey, but I have one lesson in particular) So remember Randys brother had the house and making payments, ( remember that the deal was that they would eventually take over the note) he and his wife split up and each had moved out of the house. They never took over the note and also, we found out that they had quit making payments on the property. They abandoned the home, left us in serious debt, and on top of it all they refused to help us get it in shape to sell. It was left with so much junk inside and out and they would not even help get THEIR stuff out. We are in Europe and living on a meager military pay. We do not have extra money to pay for anyone to care for the property, so some of my family that lived not far from the property took charge and worked hard to get it cleaned up and in selling condition. THANK GOD for them! WHEW!!
My heart was heavy and I just wanted to find them and yell at them for doing this to us. How could they do that after we had helped them? My heart continued to get angrier and angrier at them. I would even pretent to talk to them in thin air just to relieve my stress. The house has been on the market for some time now and no one is intrested, and in this bad market, I was feeling defeated. Then GOD spoke to my heart. HE said, " The devil is a liar. Trust in ME and I will help you." I immediately became so peaceful. It felt wonderful to feel peace again in this area. But HE was not done with me. HE also told me that in order for HIM to forgive this debt, I would have to also forgive my brother and sister in-law for thier debt against us. It was so strong. I asked GOD to forgive me for harboring bitterness for them and to help me forgive them. HE told me that their spiritual wellbeing was more important than the large loan that is due. I felt ashamed of myself and for the first time I could think of them and actually feel love for them. I saw them through the eyes of GOD. HE wants them in HIS kingdom and if I continued the way I was going I would never show the true love of GOD to them. I would have done what the devil wanted and that is to hate. The BIBLE says that anyone who hates another person is equal to being a murderer. I thought about that I was horrified to think of myself as a murderer. Well, forgiveness abounds here in our home and I know for sure beyond any shadow of doubt, GOD HIMSELF will help us sell the property and all GLORY will be HIS.