My Christian Diary

Hello All! Grace and Peace be to you! I am so thankful that I have such a wonderful family. I have a wonderful husband and two wonderful children. Today we put up our Christmas tree and we had a blast! We made cookies, hot chocolate, and put up the tree while listening to Christmas carols. Randy and I have made this a family tradition in our home and it is my favorite time of year! To be able to share it with a family is such a blessing because there was time when being a mother seemed to be a dream.
There was a time in my life before my relationship with CHRIST that Randy and I really wanted children. We wanted children from the beginning of our marriage in July of 1995 and three months after our wedding day, we found out we were pregnant. We were so happy, but the joyful moment did not last long, four weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I miscarried. Three months later I became pregnant again, and again we were jovial about the new baby, yet again, another miscarriage. I can not express really how we felt. My heart ached for some time. I would even cry at pamper commercials. Time went on and I healed, but in my heart I really wanted a baby. Then I became pregnant again three months later, and like before, we start out exuberant, but it ended in a miscarriage, I felt so dejected. It was up, down, up, down and I just wanted off this roller coaster ride.
I went to see the doctor to do some tests. Test after test after test, and nothing showed as to what was wrong with me. The doctors kept telling me to keep trying. So we did. We kept trying until I had my ninth miscarriage. The doctors were baffled as to what could be the matter. Everything showed up on paper that I was normal in every way and I should be able to carry a baby to full term. Tell that to my body! The doctors finally told me to stop trying.
In 1997 I was soundly saved and baptized. I accepted CHRIST and asked HIM to be the LORD of my life. As my relationship grew, I came to know through the BIBLE, that I could take any and all matters to HIM in prayer and I did. I began to cry out to HIM about my longing for baby.
After some time, my heart was leading me to research the adoption process. My husband and I went to some classes and did our research. We put a portfolio together to submit to various adoption agency's. One year my mom, sister and I went to a women's Christian conference called " Heritage Keepers". At one of the tape tables of one of the artists ( Kathy Trocolli) who was performing there, I saw a lady who attended my church working the table. I went over and talked with her a bit and found out that she worked at a place called "Pregnancy Crisis Center". This is a place that counsels females that are faced with an unwanted pregnancy or they just need some guidance and/or assistance about their pregnancy. The counselors share with the girls about options they have, that abortion is not the only option. Finding parents for the children might be the better option. I am so thankful for this place! PRAISE GOD for such places.
My friend told me to bring our portfolio to her office and she would show our portfolio during the counseling sessions. One day we get a call that we need get to her office as soon as possible for an interview with a young lady. We rushed there and interviewed for about an hour, then we went home to wait for the call to see if she had chosen us. Three hours went by and the adoption attorney called to tell us that the young lady had indeed loved us and wanted us to be parents to her soon to be born son. Jovial could not really explain just how happy we truly were. We hugged, cried and then ran outside to our neighbor friends yelling, "WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS, WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!" We were so ecstatic!
We had the interview in May of 2002, and Brandon was born in July. It was the hardest two months to get through, but when he was born and the young lady completed the adoption with the signing of the papers, it was well worth the wait. For a while I would ask myself what I would have done if would have had to wait the whole nine months and I would answer...I am so happy I never have to find out! LOL! I am so in love with my son. It is definitely a match made in HEAVEN.
One night during one of my miscarriages I was laying in bed bleeding and in pain, a scripture recalled to my mind. It said that we are to give thanks to GOD in all things. I asked GOD why would I thank HIM for such a rough and painful experience, but I wanted to be obedient so I did. I guess I will really never know why I had to lose so many children, but when we left the hospital with this brand new baby boy, I looked up towards the HEAVENS and I said, "THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU!"
This was the beginning of GOD filling our home with sweet, loving children. After Brandon, I have had two more miscarriages, but Randy being in the ARMY brought us to Belgium where the fertility research is twenty years advanced than the States. Coincidence?...I think not...GODincidence!!!
I have come to find out that my thyroid was producing antibodies that were attacking and killing my babies. I have had my thyroid removed and on my way to trying again after the new year.
If I never have any from my own body, I feel truly content in my family life, because GOD had brought us a wonderful son and then last year GOD brought us Alyssa. GOD is truly the one who can bring miracles in our lives. I prayed for children and HE gave me children. Randy and I are truly blessed. I could not ask for a better family. Only GOD and GOD alone could knit together this sweet family and HE gave them to me.