My Christian Diary

Hello All, Grace and Peace be to you from our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,

Well, I do hope the Voice of the Martyrs blessed each and every one of you. I want to share what the LORD spoke to me after reading about personal sacrifice.

As I was praying yesterday, I told GOD (with much emotion) that I wanted to sacrifice for HIM, no matter what! Down any road, at any cost! As I read about my brothers and sisters sacrificing much, I too want to have that kind of heart. Not that I want to seek out someone to persecute me, but if it comes, I want to stand faithfully for the LORD no matter what.

The LORD said to me, " You say you want to sacrifice out there in the world for me, but you will not even sacrifice for your very own husband? How can I trust you in much if you are not faithful in little?" OUCH!!! That hurt, but because it is true. I saw myself for the first time as a very selfish wife who has whined to get her own way, while my husband sacrifices so much for me. He wants me to be happy, so he just allows me to have my way. I do not act like that every time, but I see where I have been soooo selfish. I love my husband, I do not want to be decay to his bones as it is written in the WORD.

You see, our tour here in Belgium is almost over, and I am ready to go back to the States, while he is loving it here and wants to stay. We have been here almost six years and I feel it has been long enough overseas, but again, he really loves it here. He has to make a decision if he will reenlist or become a Government worker, or totally get out and become a civilian working a normal 9-5. He has recently said that he might have a chance to stay another 3 years here in Belgium if he can not find any work in the US. So, I immediately got upset and ranted about the long, dark, dreary, winters here, the car care battles, language barrier, and the prejudices here against Americans.

GOD has had me in "How to be a Biblical wife 101" for about a year now, and HE is a very good teacher! He revealed to me last year that because I witnessed my dad belittle my mom, abuse her physically, mentally, and emotionally, unbeknownst to me, Satan had placed a stronghold within me. As a wife, whenever I thought my husband was starting an argument, I would not let him get very far before my claws were out and I was attacking back and standing my ground. Watching my dad made me fight back with my own husband before I really even knew what was really going on. I just did not want to be pushed around like my mom, but I did not even realize I did that at all. (I am better now, but it has taken a lot to get here. Praise GOD for loving me enough to tell me. HE told me through reading a book called " Victory over the Darkness, by Neal Anderson.)I love this book, and I recommend it to everyone. Especially those who need healing from past hurts.

So, this week, GOD has had me really thinking of my husband and all his great qualities. I am very fortunate to have him. GOD has spoken to me and I am going to listen. I will not fight him on this, if we stay, we will stay. All I really want is for GOD'S will to be done in my life. I am so thankful that HE is helping me to be a better wife... A Biblical Wife...A wife Faithful to GOD!

You know, it is not really about me against Randy, what we need to do is pray for each other and come together to serve GOD as one! One In GOD, One In Unity in HIM, to become obedient in HIS will...together.

As I think of it all, it really is not sacrifice when you do it with love! I honestly have peace in this now. GOD still continues to help me sacrifice myself daily for HIM! The flesh can be strong, but GOD is stronger!

May we all learn to live for CHRIST sacrificially no matter where we are and what we are doing.

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!

(I am writing this late in the night, I hope this article makes sense. LOL! )