My Christian Diary

Hello All, Grace and Peace be to you from our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.

As I continue to ponder what happened on Sunday, the feelings I feel are bitter sweet.

I have read 2 Corinthians 3:3 many times but I never really got it until this week. It is truly amazing how GOD continues to show us new things in HIS WORD. 2 Corinthians 3:3 says, Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of CHRIST ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the SPIRIT of the living GOD; not in tables of stone, but in fleshly tables of the heart. I never got it, I never saw that we are the love letters sent from JESUS to others in need. I just love that!!!!

Sunday morning after I took the bloodtest to see if I was pregnant, I came home and prayed. I prayed to GOD to help me. I did not know what the test would show, but I knew one thing for certain, I would not have been able to hear another "NO"! I would not be able to handle it again! I asked GOD to please come and surround me with HIS love and comfort if the test was negative. I had no idea how much love and comfort HE would send. As I said in the last post, my 2 sisters in CHRIST who were personally sent by GOD, came to love me and comfort my bitterness of soul.

I hurt so much in my heart, but GOD has taken most of my pain and has hidden it from me. I believe my pain would be worse if my HEAVENLY FATHER would not be here to comfort me. I feel like HE is holding the brunt of my pain. I asked HIM to help me and HE did. I told HIM I would not be able to handle the pain again, but HE made a way for me to handle it. As I type this I am reminded of the verse, Philppians 4:13, I can do all things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me. It is so true! Without the LORD here to comfort me, I would be a true mess right now.

I am thankful for so much. I may not have a baby, but I have a GOD who really, really loves me.

I trust you LORD, my life is your life, lead me LORD, for I am lost without you. Keep me humble, continue to help me to be the gentle quiet spirit you want me to be. No matter what emotions I feel, I know what is more important, I KNOW the truth...for I know YOU! Though I hurt, I know you are holding most of it back from me, I just know it! Thank YOU for loving me...I love you too!