My Christian Diary

Hello All, Grace and Peace be to you from our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.



I love this cartoon! JESUS sent me a love letter yesterday through the hearts of two very special sisters in CHRIST.

Randy and I have been trying to have a baby on our own for fourteen years with no success. GOD has blessed us with two extremely wonderful children through adoption, and though I am very happy with my children, I still long for the day I can have a baby from my own body. I long to feel the baby move within me, and go through everything all mothers do when pregnant. I have been pregnant eleven times, and eleven times I have miscarried within the first few weeks. The doctors told me after a series of tests that according to the tests I should be able to carry to full term. The tests said one thing, my body said another.

Now we are stationed (through the ARMY) in Belgium. Belgium is the place to be when having issues in fertility, they are more advanced in treatment than the States. When I heard this, I hesitated for a while, but was led by GOD to a specialist, and after one month, he told me my thyroid was producing antibodies that were attacking my babies.

A year and a half ago I had my thyroid removed, and now we are at a place where we can try again. Last month was not successful, and yesterday we took our pregnancy test and it was negative.

This was the worst two week wait I have ever experienced concerning fertility. The doctor had me taking Progesterone, and oh my goodness, I was a complete wreck! I could not stop crying, I was irritable, and I wanted to do nothing but sleep. My body started to have symptoms of pregnancy, and I was so excited, but when the test came back negative, I was crushed! My joy in thinking I could be pregnant was quickly turned to despair. That is when JESUS sent me a love letter through my very dear friends, Vanessa and Christina.

Vanessa calls me and says, "I will be over within 30 minutes!" Click!!! When she arrived, she gave me this really hilarious, heartfelt presentation which included, 7 differnt types of ice cream, bannanas, chopped nuts, chocolate syrup, carmel topping, and 2 pizzas. That was not all, she also brought about 8 different games, and several movies. I tell ya, she was on it! LOL!!!

Christina then came over and we had such wonderful fellowship. We laughed, we cried, we prayed, we read scripture, we played a little of the games and then started to watch Anne of Green Gables. They stayed for hours and just saturated me with the LOVE OF CHRIST.

Though my heart really hurt, I knew GOD was right there loving me through HIS personal love letter to me, sent through HIS personal postal service... Vanessa and Christina.